Quantcast

Why does he get a pass for cheating but she doesn't

Jordan Crawford | 1/15/2014, 9:49 a.m.

Copeland says that his wife was made aware of his unfaithfulness and they are still together. Copeland also admits that had it been the other way around, he probably would not have been strong enough to stay in the relationship.

Adams attributes the decision to stay in the relationship by married women to the need to save face.

“Men in their late 20s and early 30s who are not married are often viewed as driven and focused, whereas women in the same age category who aren’t married are viewed as having something wrong with them, being unwanted, or lonely,” she said.

Adams cited the recent incident between actress Gabrielle Union and her now-fiancée, NBA player Dwyane Wade. Wade admitted that he’d fathered a child while he and Union were taking a break from their relationship.

“I honestly think she stayed because she feels it’s time for her to be married. So many people thought they were a great match, they’re both well-known in their careers, and Gabrielle had just come from a relationship that had gone awry.”

Portsmouth resident, Damon Rucker, thinks Union’s decision to remain with Wade wasn’t smart and he has no sympathy for either party.

“First off, Gabrielle stole him from another woman. What goes around comes around and she got smacked dead in the face with some good ole’ karma,” he said. “Dwyane and Gabrielle were on a break. Who does that? Taking a break basically means you’re tired of that person, you want to mess around with someone else, but you still want the title of being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend, or spouse. As far as I’m concerned, they both need to stay single.”

Rucker’s ex-girlfriend of two years cheated on him and he admitted it was hard, but he broke off the relationship. He urges everyone to have the courage to do the same.

“I know it’s harder if you’re married, especially if it’s been some significant time invested into the marriage. That makes it harder to leave once you realize your mate’s been unfaithful because you’ve been with them for so long. You’re reluctant and scared to have to get back into the tough and often judgmental dating scene.”

Hampton resident Portia Sumpter knows the struggles a married woman deals with when her husband cheats. She also knows the backlash that can come when the scorned wife retaliates.

“I found out my husband cheated on me with a co-worker of his and I went through an assortment of emotions,” she said. “I was angry, then sad, then I began to question my own image and ability to please my husband. I actually rationalized his infidelity due to a lacking on my part, then something clicked and I set out to get even.”

Sumpter said that her husband’s family found out about his infidelity and they were disappointed, but they mainly shrugged it off. When she was discovered to be cheating, her husband had a worse reaction than she did when his infidelity was discovered, and his family disowned her.